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The Mermaid Tavern
Home of the Magical, Satirical Philosofairy

February 09, 2009
Edited & Polished as of November, 2009
Realtors Don't Understand Ethics

Or. . . How to Tell a Realtor Off

It is *finally* the time for American citizens come to learn about the scamming culprits of their current economic crisis. These culprits are ones that the philosofairy has been carefully tracking for years; she would not make such claims without substantiative evidence. The one thing she has been unable to shake from her intuition is the fact that Realtors and Landlords (and every person who collects rents or commission checks as the result of property transactions and "turnover" for that matter) do NOT understand ethics.

This why Realtors are especially evil, scamming people, laughing all the way to the bank. Most Landlords AKA "Property Management Companies" are, as well (because what they do is essentially the same). But we'll have to save that information for another day.

Some Realtors will say "Oh, no. I subscribe to an 'Industry Standard' or a 'Strict Code of Ethics'." And it matters not if the Realtor is representing you as a buyer or a seller. Read on.

Oh, really. Ask them: "What, precisely, is that code of ethics? What would you say if I asked you go take out a $500,000 loan, or to dip into your life savings and to pay me somewhere around $30,000 of it immediately? If I decide to take out a loan, I know I won't even be able to start really making a dent in the *principal* of my mortgage for at least a few years. So even if you sell just one house this month, that's WAAAAAAAY more than most poor, starving writers make for an entire year's worth of writing. Please explain to me how it is ethical for you to expect me to take out a loan or to dip into my life savings so you can be paid first?"

"If I decide to dip into my life savings, I'm essentially losing all the money you're making in this transaction. This is money that really belongs to the builders (the actual construction workers), the cleanup crew, and the other people from whom you've stolen."

Almost no Realtors rent their own personal residence(s) [Most Realtors already have multiple homes, vacation homes, and multiple automobiles] and there are quite a few who drive around the Cadillac Escalades and GMC Envoys and Lexus and BMW SUVs. You many then inform the Realtor that you learned all about it by reading the brilliantly written Philosofairy's Blog. Realtors basically just do the sales pitch: dress up in fancy clothes, show the houses off; take the money, and run. One day of observation on any construction site will also give you the evidence you need to see that they appear to pay migrant (possibly illegal) workers unethical compensation: LESS THAN Minimum Wage and NO Benefits [evidence can be submitted to back this up] for them to "pretty up" these houses you sell.

And now for the issue of networks and Internet websites? You can inform the Realtor that you know all about the US Department of Justice (DOJ) case against the National Association of Realtors (NAR). So the proof is that Realtors and their Broker bosses collect thousands of dollars every month in commission checks for doing what essentially amounts to nothing but taking advantage of people. They call that an ethics code? Sounds pretty unethical to the average working American. In fact, it sounds like serious fraud.

The Realtor at this point will probably do one of two things: blink rapidly and look scared (Busted!) or start stammering and attempt to defend the supposed "integrity" of their "profession". When they start talking about being an honest to goodness "discount broker" or how they do percent commissions which they split, or how they're "working for you," don't believe a word they say. The moment that they begin to push a contract for exclusivity or start asking for "Earnest Money," or talking up how they have all this "specialized knowledge," please turn around and run away as quickly as possible. The philosofairy promises you you'll thank her.

As mentioned in a previous article, the philosofairy studied all about the real estate business, passing with flying colors several exams in a real estate BROKERAGE course, passing an FBI background check, AND she has an MBA. She kids you not. People studying for an MBA learn quite a bit about ethics when they're in graduate studies at a University; especially when they already have an undergrad degree in Accounting. Some Realtors have little more than a high school education, and many of them don't even have that.

There is simply no such thing as an ethical Realtor.

The philosofairy would like to submit the following evidence as Exhibit A:



Please watch and re-watch, if necessary, the video above; please take note of those entities in the video who are hurrying along the process along such that the family is not even able to claim their family photographs or jar of peanut butter. Is the entity a bank? No. Is the entity a uniformed officer of the law? No. The entity is the Realtor (employed by a bank) and his or her company with a signpost in the front yard. Now you know: whomever has those dumpster gentlemen under contract might have a little more than a high school education, but it's highly likely that they don't subscribe to any code of ethics.

They want the dirty work done fast, and if at all possible, in the dark of night.

This is not an isolated incident, and this mortgage mess did not happen overnight. Indeed, it had been slowly being plotted and carried out by Realtors and their covert "allergic to taxes" Republicans buddies during the last eight years.

For Exhibit B, please glance over this litigation. In summary, it is a little-known Department of Justice lawsuit being filed against none other than the National Association of Realtors®.

WHEREAS, Plaintiff, the United States of America, filed its Amended Complaint on October 4, 2005, alleging that Defendant National Association of Realtors® ("NAR") adopted policies that restrain competition from innovative real estate brokers in violation of Section 1 of the Sherman Act, 15 U.S.C. § 1, and Plaintiff and Defendant, by their respective attorneys, have consented to the entry of this Final Judgment without trial or adjudication of any issue of fact, and without this Final Judgment constituting any evidence against, or any admission by, any party regarding any issue of fact or law;

WHEREAS, Defendant has not admitted and does not admit either the allegations set forth in the Amended Complaint or any liability or wrongdoing;


Not admitted any wrongdoing.

Not admitted any wrongdoing.

Not admitted any wrongdoing!?

Restraining competition sounds like wrongdoing to the philosofairy. The philosofairy knows exactly why these Realtors in their posh offices and fancy clothes and SUVs want to restrain competition: Greed.

Which party is hurrying the transaction such that the owners of the belongings in the home don't even have time to move out or to coordinate efforts with an ecologically-friendly recycling charity?

Did you catch this quote directly from the video: "A Realtor is paying this man to "paint the grass green." . . .". A Realtor is also paying the gentleman with the dumpster. And how does a Realtor ensure he or she is paid enough to pay others to do the dirty work? You'd be surprised.

Surely the philosofairy is not the only one who takes note of the waste here. Perfectly fine consumer goods which could, for all practical purposes, be recycled or given to a charity are going . . . into a landfill. To be covered by other garbage, eventually to leech cancer-causing chemicals into groundwater.

Indeed, upon only the most advanced frameworks of thought does it become *obvious* that the only ones who are "thriving" from our current mortgage mess in the US are Realtors, Brokers, and persons who make commissions based on property turnovers. Who got "Bailout Money" first? The Banks. Banks are notorious for paying Realtors before everybody else.

In conclusion, the philosofairy would like to urge readers to write to their congresspersons. She would urge them to bring to the first and foremost attention of all lawmakers that when people want to buy a home, they should not be forced or *especially even coerced to add to that portion of their mortgage the amount of money that a Realtor and Co. are earning. Six percent of even $200,000 is $12,000. That's a lot of monthly house payments for some people. One of the things Realtors always like to say is that "Every market is different." Do the math and add it up: whether FIFTEEN homes a week, or fifteen homes a month . . . somebody is making a lot of money. And now the economy is bearing the burdens of their shallowness and greed: those people with their faces on their business cards and their pressed suits and their salon-done hair. . . those people who drive SUVs and look down their noses at everybody else: they are the root of evil.

The philosofairy tells you these things today because she has been stepped on by these people too many times. These is no reason in the WORLD that she should be taken advantage of for her talents and abilities. Yes, some of which include the ability to write and to make beautifully coded Internet designs. Designs that should not be stolen for purposes of greed or any kind of illegal collusion, as such often occurs in the real estate industry.

Remember the Constitution originally drafted had a sentence originally penned by the awesome John Locke which was later modified to be included in the very Laws of the Land: "No person shall be . . . deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law" - United States Constitution, 5th Amendment.".

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indiejade at 9:41:00 PM



August 17, 2008
The Philosofairy to McCain: "Take that $19 and Shove It"

Please take a moment out of your day to read and re-read this quote, straight from the mouth of that most idiot Republican John McCain: “People who make under $80,000 are too stupid to understand taxes anyway.”

Please pardon the philosofairy while she roots around in her magical directory'o'graphics and statistics . . .

Ta Da!




According to this graph, that Presidential Wannabe John McCain, at *least* 60 percent of taxpayers are too stupid to understand their very own tax system. Indeed, closer analysis reveals that it is actually much worse than that. . . the facts spell out that McCain's proposed "tax cut" amounts to about $319 per family for those 60 percent of taxpayers who make LESS THAN $66,355 in family income per year. Barack Obama's proposed tax cuts are a bit more generous. For those who've made a mere $18,981 or less per year (this would be the philosofairy), we are granted *AT LEAST* $567 (averages) in tax relief. And keep in mind that this is only "official" tax relief. . . never mind the increased costs of everything else. . . after all, inflation is at a 17-year high.

Please take a moment out of your day to let this fact truly sink in. Isn't one of the most basic principles of a democracy that majority rules? So why does McCain insist upon a system in which he perceives that the majority of people are "too stupid" to understand? And what else is wrong with this picture?

After thinking about it long and hard, the philosofairy has come up with the answer. There is no probable correlation between pre-tax income and intelligence. McCain was completely wrong in his statement. There is, however, a strong correlation between post-tax income and corruption.

The philosofairy knows and would gladly testify her knowledge of the fact that she is not "too stupid" to understand the tax system; in fact, she understands the tax system so well that Republicans actually fear her razor-sharp insights about their corruption. Unlike McCain, she's simply too ethical to take advantage of the little people. If Republicans had it their way, *nobody* would be able to read this blog for the fact that it was written almost entirely in and for Firefox, the free and open-source answer to corporate browser corruption.

In conclusion, the philosofairy would like to tell Mr. McCain to take that $19 "tax relief" he's proposing and shove it. She and the rest of the educated, willing-but-unable-to-earn-a-decent-living individuals students, professors, teachers, and others who have ethics can see exactly what he's doing. It's just not right.

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indiejade at 8:44:00 AM